Truth be told

I begin at your end.
My heart twisted and turned at every bend
For you and all that was yours
For us and for a greater cause.
My needs failed to matter,
Yours, however, came to the front.
You're not to blame, this is all me,
Why then am I longing to be set free?
Wasn't it all in my hands from the start?
Or was it all just a trick of the heart?
To make me feel so much through and through,
For someone as devious and unmindful as you
Or should I say unheartful, ungrateful, unthoughtful maybe
Or maybe forgive you and make it look that easy.
To move, move on, move out from it all
Pack my bags, get up or take another fall?
Why does it feel like all is doomed
For happiness, my heart finds no room
Destined to give, and receive but none
Love, shouldn't feel like a war to be won.
But that's what it's become , that's how I feel
The war rages in my soul, a blood stained battlefield.
But no matter who wins, the damage is done
One side will have lost and the other will have won.
The debris, the corpses, the dream's all lost
Now they lay lifeless, but at what cost?
The cost of never being fully content,
The fact that my voice never found a vent.
The fight and the pain has come to an end.
Though, I shall never love the same again.

Reservation for one

It's not a rarity to find more people choosing to go to the movies alone, with no company at all. It's not rare anymore to find people visiting cafes just by themselves. While some choose to call these people introverts, I highly disagree. Not everyone who chooses to be alone is an introvert.

Recently, I've found myself more comfortable being with myself than in the company of others. Whilst I do not mind company, I'm fairly okay with not having any either. And yet I have friends who would ask me, how can you go to a restaurant and eat alone, what do you do at the movies alone, don't you get lonely?

I guess most of us do not know how to be alone. We're always in touch, always communicating, always talking, always reaching out. When was the last time you reached in, got in touch with yourself?

Lost somewhere between #SquadGoals #Groupfie #WeekendGetaway I found myself longing for #Solitude #PersonalSpace #MeTime and I decided it's about time i gave these hashtags a little more attention.

I'd like you to take a moment to analyse when was the last time you went to the restaurant you wanted and not the one the rest of the group wanted to go to. When was the last time you ate your own plate of fries without having to split it. When was the last time you saw a movie and formed your own opinion about it instead of having everyone else influence yours.

Have you ever once been silenced by a good book or a good movie but your social life just wouldn't let you feel the things you wanted to feel after it because you're already making a #WhatNext plan. We're constantly on the move, in the flow, moving with the tide.

Don't get me wrong, friends are cool, having friends who understand you is cooler. But of what use are friends if you've lost yourself somewhere between them all. If you're suddenly finding yourself swept in with the tide, doing things you would otherwise not choose to do if it were your sole decision, it's time to stop and make sense out of it all.

I still hang out with my friends, go for lunches and dinners and parties, we go dancing and we sometimes just chill in someones compound. But now I make time for the things I want to do over everything that the rest of my group wants to do, even if it means doing it alone.

Don't feel guilty to do it too. It's one of the most uplifting things you could do for yourself.

Lastly, I'd like to address a very common comment I get when I tell people I eat alone at restaurants. "How can you be comfortable sitting alone with no one to talk to?"

It's simple, if you can't bear to be with yourself or you can't deal with your own idle mind, how can you expect someone else to want to share a meal with you?

Go ahead, reserve a table for one.