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Tuesday 20 January 2015

There are reasons

'There are reasons', she said.
Reasons she can't watch those romantic comedies anymore
Reasons she won't walk down that street
Reasons she'd rather travel alone.
There are reasons she can't allow herself to be quiet
And reasons she won't engage in certain conversations.
'There are reasons', she said, she can't eat there anymore.
And reasons she won't let anyone hold her hand.
And reasons she won't let anyone carry her or hold her for that matter,
And reasons she can't listen to love songs,
And reasons she can't stand two people kissing,
And reasons she won't let anyone charm her.
She's lying.

There was just one reason and he was the cause of it all.

Sunday 18 January 2015

The Chair

I sit across the table,
rehearsing every line I've come here to say.
Moments from now, my heart will spill
and I will tell you things you've wished to hear.
My heart's in my throat and a shiver runs down my spine.
My nerves are restless, does this place have some wine?

Focus.

Practice.
"Hi, I love you." No.
"Hi, I know I've taken too long to say this, but, I really like you" No.
"I love you"
Uggh!
Calm down.

I stare blankly at the chair, you're a little late, I'm grateful.
Closing my eyes, hoping the waiters don't think me crazy.
I think about you and about me. And that I've finally come to this day,
To the day I'm ready to declare my love for you.
Butterflies.
Where are you?

"Can I have some wine please"

You've waited so long for me, whats 30 minutes for me to wait for you, right?
Thanks for always being there.
...
...
...
...
...
...
No thanks for leaving that chair empty today.
"Waiter, keep the change"

Wednesday 7 January 2015

The Inside Story

It's been two years now since the creation of this blog and its 1st post and in these two years it has helped me grow as a person and as a writer, along with providing me with a vent out, 'express yourself space'.
To all of you who frequent this blog and who give me feedback or even tell me how much you loved or hated each post, Thank you! You're the reason this blog still exists and celebrates two years today.

There are a few lucky people who get to know what inspires most of my blog posts, others take lucky guesses.
For most of you who are still wondering, this post will tell you what inspired my favorite post of every month.

January 2014:
Under the influence
When I wrote this post I was driven by a disgust for the influence that narcotics have on people and how a feeling of ecstasy that otherwise can be attained through much natural occurrences is now attained through drugs and substances that are so harmful to the human body.

February 2014:
Beauty, born of the dark
In this post, I have used a lot of imagery to explain but a very simple emotion: heart break.
Loss and the heaviness of heart inspired this post and it became a crowd favorite mostly because it very subtly expresses what the heart never finds the words to say. It also displays the heart to be a creature that finds its peace only in the stillness of the night or in silence. Further it is also a search for beauty within the recesses of ones insecurities.
Love's fake identity
In this post I have personified love and portrayed him to be a cheater or one who changes colour as and when he wishes to. It also talks about how love can fool you and make you believe things. I had fun writing this post.

March 2014:
She doesn't know
This post rose from the idea of ignorance. How you can be affected by something only through the knowledge of it and how we are either protected or harmed by the knowledge of somethings. The post names random instances but if you read each of them through, you can build an instance around each of them.

April 2014:
Little Girl
This post also got the highest number of views in whole of 2014.
It was inspired by a very special friend who's humility is something I could tell the world about. Her age here is irrelevant for she forever portrays herself to be a child of God. Till date she continues to be an inspiration to me.
It's impossible to not fall in love with a girl like her, and what's even more fascinating is that she always keeps you in awe of her. Shes a walking talking wonder.

May 2014:
Time Traveler
Time traveler was written keeping a very special friend in mind. A friend who gave up too soon. While we all worry about our future, there are some of us who would live a lot better had we lived in the moment and worry less about what's to come.

June 2014:
For as long as we have voices
The book Eat Pray Love came to me at the most appropriate time. They say books know when to come to you. This post was inspired by a quote in the book and it just made me realize how important it is to be thankful for as long as you really can. People leave and maybe you'll lose your voice, time, distance, a lot of obstacles could come your way. So it's better to express your gratefulness now then to wait.

July 2014:
Match Maker
This post actually stemmed from a joke between me and two other friends. However if there really existed a match maker this is what it would be like.
Saving Grace
This post is actually a really late post. The experience shared here was a life changing one that took place in the month of April. I was at my lowest point when I received a saving grace. something that changed me forever and for the better. Something you should all know, don't ever give up, even at your lowest things can turn around.

August 2014:
You don't break what's not yours
So many times my friends tell me of how unsure  they are about the person they are dating or whether they should date at all. This post was written especially for them. In my opinion, it's better to wait around and be sure than to jump into a relationship before you know what you really want from it. You save yourself the effort, you save yourself the worry and you save yourself the time. Most of all, you prevent the likelihood of another heart-break.

September 2014:
How He loves you
If you notice, this post addresses the same person it addressed in a post in the month of April. Little Girl. It was written for the same person. This friend of mine grew really ill, so ill that we thought hospitalization would be a must. But prayers went up at the speed of lightning and in a day, this friend grew well miraculously.
I'd like to think that this little girl is loved abundantly by God (He). And that He can do anything for His little girl.
Kisses without borders
This short story was actually written in my creative writing paper in college. I rewrote it out of memory for this blog. From among my very own short stories, it's my favorite.

October 2014:
In the light of Forgiveness
October was a month of redemption. With an autumn theme, I wrote most of my posts to relate to renewal and forgiveness, redemption and finding your way back. This set of posts were my favorite.
'In the light of forgiveness' focuses on the need to find peace with yourself in spite of the turmoil that you put yourself through. Your struggle with your insecurities, your goals, your aspirations all find its way home only once you forgive yourself for all the times you have let your self down. A little self healing never harmed anyone.

November 2014:
The Burden of the Bubble
This post is one of my favorites from the month of November because it's something very personal. Inspite of that, a number of readers messaged me saying it was thoroughly relatable. This post deals with one's independence and fear of letting someone get so close that it gives them the opportunity to control you to a certain extent. I refer to it as a burden because often it comes in the way of you and something that you long for just because of fear.

December 2014:
Writing off rape
With the rise in rape cases being reported in the news everyday, I was drawn toward writing this post. Reading about it in the papers unsettles all of us, but everyone of us know that the people with power in their hands are the only ones who can actually change the scene for us civilians. That is exactly why this post has a verse targeting a powerful man's loved ones. I got a really good view count on this one and a number of people messaged me saying I hit the nail on the head.


A little snippet from my 1st blog post 'Grounded and Uplifting'
Sometimes we get lost in our accomplishments, so lost that we don't realize how high we have risen
And how difficult it is to hear people from way above them!
What's the use of rising above then, if you cant communicate with the ones who helped you get there?
It's better to be GROUNDED and UPLIFTING than lifted and uprooted.

Tuesday 6 January 2015

Traces of You.

Gone are all traces of you
Little by little, ridding myself of them.
For long after you left, I still had you.
But I've come a long way now and time has been my friend
I've emptied the drawers, just like I emptied my heart.
I burnt the photos, like I burned some memories.
I sold what could be sold, the way you put a price on us.
And yes, it made up for the price I paid in loving you.
There is nothing left to remind me of you,
even the words of my diary have been torn through and through.
Gone are the flashbacks that once haunted my nights,
gone are the daydreams that came without my plight.
All wounds have healed.
All scars have come clean.
A heart once broken is fit and fine.
A life once yours is now all mine.
If there ever was a time I felt more loved,
Its now.
For I love myself now, more than I did before,
I love myself more than the love you could ever show.
And maybe that was it all along.
Maybe love is what keeps me strong.
My love though, more than yours.

Love for me and all my flaws.