Is this a Goodbye?

Of the 17 years you lived in the same city as me, little did I know how quickly the years would fly away.
Of the 14 years we were mere acquaintances, little did I think that we would even have to face this day.
Of the 3 years that we were closest to each other, little did I know that this day would be so difficult.
But how can I be here sitting and counting the years we were together,
when I know so well that today your leaving for a far away place and i may not see you for a good amount of years.....
What are these numbers? they are figures defining the quantity of time we have been together.
But these moments are too special to express in a matter of mere numbers.
These moments are too special to even describe in words.

What can I say, today, the day you cross oceans to live out your dreams?
Today, the day you put your past behind you and only step forward into what life has to offer you.
Today, the day you say your goodbyes to the people who saw you grow and lived your life with you.
I cannot help but think of the innumerable times we have spent sharing joys, sorrows, laughter, tears and more than anything our vastly different lives.

I cannot help but recall every day that we spent together, be it at college, or at church, or the summer club, or evening are daily animated evening walks.
I go back to each and every moment, and though its all spread out into a span of years... every memory is still so clear...still so unforgettable.
And i dread to think that for the next few years you are going to be so far away.
You're going to be away from me.... after me having grown so close to you.

Of course, i understand what lies before you, your future is all planned and your ready to take off.
To soar into your life, all set and ready to do what you love, to live out your dream.
And i do wish you all the very best for every step you take and for every decision you will have to make.
I wish you all the happiness this world can give you. If you were near i'd take care of it myself.

My humble prayer to God is that he nurtures you like a little bird under her mothers wing.
I pray that he teaches you to fly high, and that he allows you to fall the 1st couple of times,
just so that you know that failure is inevitable.
I pray that you learn from your mistakes and then never fall again.
I wish you all the strength you could have because now your world is growing bigger and you will have to live stronger.
I wish you humility, so that no matter where you are in this world, no matter who or what you become, you can still get down on your knees and thank the mighty one for every breath he has given you.
I wish you all that makes your heart leap, for what good is life if you can't Love what you do?
I wish you the courage to take risks, and yet enough knowledge to know not to be a fool.

It still hasn't totally sunk in that you are going to be away for so long, when it does sink in, I probably wont be able to read this myself because of how flooded with tears my eyes may get.
Or maybe its just that I don't feel its a goodbye,
maybe I know that your'e going but I know better that somewhere deep down within me,
memories made and lessons learnt will suffice to actually make it feel like you haven't gone away.
I may not have my best friend sitting right beside me, shes probably somewhere around the world.
but wherever she is shes surely thinking about me just as much as I am of her.

So is this a goodbye or is it not?
Because it doesn't fell like one at all, at least not yet.
You were never staying in the same city as me as much as you stayed in my heart.
So even if you're oceans away, I still know that you are really close.
and yes, maybe I wont cry a single tear today when I bid you farewell.
Maybe I will though, when i'm in a train, or when i'm walking in the evening, or when I go to college.
Maybe a tear will fall when I eat at the places we ate together or when I sing the songs I sang with you.
But whenever I think of you, you can be sure that i'm not upset that you're gone,
but it's inevitable that your presence will me missed deeply by me.

I love you Ren :*