The wind in my hair

You're like the wind in my hair
I long for you and let my hair down
And you sweep on by
First so shy,
And then like a storm
And I close my eyes as you caress my face
And you pass by and travel beyond.

I'm left alone again
Waiting for your return
And what have you left behind for me?
A hand full of knots and bare trees
And just when I'm tired of breaking through these tangles
I tire and tie my hair back up
Promising myself to take care
But there you come again this time faster, and with so much of life.

And my eyes close once again 

And without my doing my hands stretch out 

And you could blow me away if you wanted to 

But right now you make me feel like flying
And I can hear you whisper in the wind, "let go"
And I'm fighting the urge to
Because I keep letting go and all you do is leave me 

with more knots to entangle.
"Let go" you whisper, again
"Why should I", I'm tearing up now
"Because I love you and I won't ever let you go"
Feeble and hungry. 

For love and certainty, I let myself go, 

now lifted by the wind, a part of this force.

I'm unstoppable, I'm fearful, I'm above the dread of the earth
And out of nowhere I can feel it creep through
After ages, this one's for you, I smile.
But I know this will only last a while.
And my distrust in you brings me down
And now I'm back to the ground.
Now as you go on your way,
I'm left again tangled and astray
And yet I turn around to see, wondering when you will come back to me
Cause no matter the mess you make of me
'The wind in my hair' you will always be.

One more night

One more night
I wait
And the moon shines on just like it did yesterday.
But not like it did some days ago.
One more night, I wait
Hopefully, quietly
For you
Don't care much for me.
But one more night won't even be relevant.
Especially if I've waited a lifetime.
But for one more night and counting
There's fear and there are thoughts taunting
And it's haunting
To think what one more night can do
Not just to me and you
But to equation of love around the world
One more night and one more love
Received, given or not accounted for at all.
One more night
And I don't care
Much for the pain.
But this I can't let go in vain.
In one night alot can leave, but one more night and I'm not sure if I will breathe
Life into love or love into life.
What's got me enduring this strife!
You must have done something right
And we can't just give up because of one
Fight
Please, just give it
One more night.

Surfacing Demons

You bring out a part of me I never knew existed.
You bring out the demons and
damn! I feel like I missed it!
This angel has been good too long...
And the good in me is extinguishing fast.
The reason to be good is now long gone,
And I'm hoping the bad in me surfaces fast.

Demons, I wish you knew,
How long I've been waiting for you.
This good girls out the door
To be seen no more.
Find her wherever you may!
But I hope she doesn't see the light of day.
For now rules a woman scorned, she's captured this body.
And possesses this soul!

And how you wish you knew her before!
How you wish you knew the good in her.
For if this is her bad
Just imagine, just imagine how passionate her good was!
Just imagine what you've missed
Just imagine what she could have made you feel with just one kiss...

That killing thing

I give you the rifle, packed with bullets
And I stand across from you as a target
Oh the thrill of knowing you'd never shoot.
I give you a knife and I hold you tight
The joy I find in knowing you'd never stab.
I've given you a dose of poison
And I pass you my drink
What serenity to sip out of it and quench more than my thirst
I'm quenching my ego, I'm feeding my pride
I give you the weapons, I give you the power
And you're making a decision every hour.
There's only one person who will be hurt by the end of this.
And no amount of morphine will numb it.
I'm crazy, I'm losing it, I'm giving it up
All to you, do what you have to.

Lukewarm

I can only take so much of something lukewarm.
There's hot and there's cold and I can take both of them in my stride,
But one at a time.
But lukewarm is weak.
You're too afraid of getting burned,
You're to afraid to freeze,
Lukewarm cannot be me...
I can't stand in the center when I know which side I wanna be on.
And when I don't, I'll choose one anyway,
I'll risk it, for me.
But now you're hot and you're cold and you've pushed me into lukewarm territories.
And I wish I knew where to go.
I could probably walk out the door.
But more than I already am, it will throw me deeper into the floor.
I've done this before.
"Never again" did I say.
But life never listens. He's put me in the same spot.
Wishing my insecurities were never caught.
Wishing my hands never touched cold or hot
For now one hand's frozen and the other not.
One hand's burnt and I wish I had fought.
And in the middle of my heart, I'm lukewarm.
And I need one side to pull me over.
Because lukewarm makes me weak.
And hot or cold, there's only you I really seek.
So pull me a side and stay with me there
Because that's all I dream of, but this is a nightmare.
Babe, I'm almost gone, if you don't take my hand.
I'll lose you and I'll lose me and the world will never understand.

Home

She said she couldn't find it, this place called home.
She never felt it, she never lived in it.
She searched near and far, she tried,
She cried.
Home was always too far away no matter how much she walked.
Home was as good as nowhere now.
Her search ceased when at last she grew tired.
And as she sat herself down on a bed that never gave warmth.
Tears rolled down her cheek.
Would she ever find home?
But there under the covers of her bed,
She allowed her mind to travel,
To go places she otherwise couldn't reach.
Under the sheets, she closed her eyes and dreamed.
Of a man that would one day hold her,
Of a man who would love her,
Who would take her home every night.
Who would hold her till the morning light.
Home would always be right
there.
Keeping her safe, keeping her warm.
Within her he would calm the storm.
And that was home, she knew for sure.
But where was he?
Her search still endures.

Coming Clean

I'm laying it down, I'm coming clean,
I'm giving you my all, my everything I mean.
These walls I'm breaking, no more faking
These secrets are no more, I'm laying them on the floor.
Take me, take my words, take my heart,
Take me and break me apart.
Find my joys and find my sorrows,
And embrace them like there's no tomorrow.
I'm yours for all you want of me,
I'm yours for all you see of me
and more.
Babe, don't turn around and walk out the door.
It took me too long to see you there,
Waiting for me, your love to share.
It took me too long to know that I
Was empty and cold and I couldn't try
To leave my state of despair,
Didn't think for once that I was capable of repair,
That you could come along and make me strong.
That you could break me and take all my right from wrong.
That you would care, I didn't have a clue
But babe, how I love you!
How I want you to love me too,
I'm willing, I'm ready,
Now that your here, don't ever leave.

The Story teller

She tells stories like they're a trick of her tongue.
She captures hearts with her voice,
And souls in between her words.
She gathers them all, like stars in a galaxy
and every story adds a spark in her eyes
That she carries on to the curious hearts she encounters.
There's something in the way she speaks
that moves you, that reaches deep within you.
There's something in the stories she tells
Of love and life and joy and sorrow.
There's something about the way her eyes speak,
They tell more stories in a minute than she could in a lifetime,
And yet they all flock to hear her,
to travel, motionless!

The  story teller, learns as she goes
and she teaches what she knows.
She hides behind a million lives, of lessons and loss,
Of pain, grief, and mistakes that cost.
Shes hiding her story for she cannot tell,
Just how broken she is under that hard shell.
And how about that dam spell?!?
To empathize and sympathize no matter what
to know before the end of the plot!
For often she listens with an understanding heart
To the stories that brought two together or tore them apart.
To stories of adventure and mistakes and redemption
To stories of victory, shame and often repression.
And she carries these around with her wherever she goes
This story teller, the keeper of tales, the one who just knows.

She's part of these stories now as she takes them on,
She's one among the characters, one among them all.
She insists we all are but stories on this earth.
Chapter after chapter, unfolding since birth.
And she too is just a story, one that may be forgotten
along with the stories that never made their way.
I tell you of her , this story teller,
In hope that you will meet her some day.

Stay Awake

Stay awake with me
Stay awake and be with me
Let this be our time to be.
To understand without speaking
To know without telling
To answer without asking
Stay awake with me and let me hold your hand
Stay awake there's so little time we have
Our lives are short and I need you now
Close your eyes but stay awake
Dwell in the darkness
Bask in the silence
The night knows more than we ever shall
Stay awake for me.
Will you?
Stay awake for I love you and I can't without you.

Easy

They don't believe the things she says,
They say it's over done and over heard.
They don't see her path of thought,
They can't fathom her perspective at all.

And she's leaning towards not believing in herself.
She's questioning the principles that brought her here.
For suddenly she feels so lost,
Like the world can be hers, but at what cost?

That her way of life is not understandable,
That's it's so beyond ones grasp
that they give up before trying to see her through.
And she wonders ,really, what wrong has done.
And she wonders, really, what right can she do?

For all her life she's believed in just herself
But all of a sudden she can't find herself anymore.
Lost among what they all want her to be
And found among what she's lost in her life.

She needs a moment to stop and look back.
And account for all her actions.
Give her the time to go back and listen to the words she's spoken.
And what about the hearts she's broken?

And then again, the ones she's mended.
She's thinking about the relationships she's started and even the ones she's ended.

And she's breaking inside to leave something behind ,
She's breaking inside to break herself apart.
Why, she wonders, why can't she be easy?
Easy going, easy to understand, easy to have, easy to hold, easy to unfold...

I'm Losing You

I'm losing you,
I'm losing you to something stupid.
You're going away and I can blame me.
But I don't want to, it doesn't have to be.
You're in my head and you're in my heart,
And I didn't know you right from the start.
But we made our way and we made it through,
I can't bare the thought of losing you.
But I screwed it up, I held too long,
I grew weak and forgot what is strong.
With bare hands I held on too tight,
Comforting not just you but my nameless, unheard of fright.
But in the middle of the night
I got lost.
And so did you but at what cost?
Dawn gave us a new fear,
And what was last year, can never be again.
We can't be now what we were back then.
And I shudder to think that everything, someday, must come to an end.

Pretty little girl

Hey pretty girl, don't you cry.
What can help? Will a lullaby?
But no, they'll laugh at you,
You're too old for it they'll say.
But pretty little girl, I will sing to you,
I will sing you to sleep if you're tired.
I will sing you a lullaby if you care to hear.
And they won't laugh, for they won't know.
They don't need to, they won't have to
You don't have to feel alone.
It's okay to cry, I'll sing you a lullaby.

And I promise you it won't mean your small.
I promise you I will tell no one at all.
But, little girl, it's time to retire, to rest,
To sleep and dream, and I wish you the sweetest of them all.
And I'll make sure no one even tries
To wake you , to hurt you, while you close your eyes.
And I pray that when you wake, you feel better,
And just for you, that the sun shines brighter.
Pretty little girl, there won't always be a lullaby.
But if a nightmare wakes you, know that I'll always be there I'll always be nigh.

I know your fight

I don't like the way they speak of you.
I don't like the things they say.
They're trying to tell me otherwise
When I can already see the light of day.
They say I don't know you long enough,
They say I'm blinded by your good side.
They speak of another 'you' when they speak of you.
But I'm not willing to believe it's true.
They don't know you like I do!
I'm sure of it from my heart
I know no one keep you in parts.

And every time they speak of you in a manner ill,
My blood races and words grow still.
What do they need to know, why do they need to at all?
I grow wild when they bring your name to fall.
I know your light, I know your fight
I see your struggle day in and out.
Little girl, how I wish they didn't doubt
That your heart is pure and your intentions are kind.
And your heart longs for peace of mind.

Because the fight to survive is already a task.
We all have our flaws and our face masks.
There can be no perfection in one just like there can be no best.
So also, little girl there is no call to be perfect, let them speak, He wil take care of the rest.

Let me mourn

Let me mourn the loss of a life
Let me mourn the death of a friend
Let me mourn the fragility of living.
Give me time, spare me
Exclude me from the festivities
Ignore my silence
Let me be quiet, please
Do not speak, do not comment
Do not tell me what you think
Let me, for once, deal with this emptiness
Let me do nothing, let me be idle for once
Allow me the time to weep
Don't wish me a good sleep.
It's my time to mourn, its my time to repent
And my time to lament.
Forgive me for this withdrawal
Understand my need for it though.
This loss of life is not just of a friend
It's of a bundle of dream, ambitions, aspirations and so much more.

Possessed

You're hiding somewhere
In the cold recesses of my being
And you don't come out when the sun is shining.
No.
You wait until the sun has set and the dust has settled,
You wait until its quiet and serene,
You long for when I'm all alone and with nothing to keep me busy.
For that is when you can come out from the shadows and have all of me.
That is when you can get into my head and take up all the space you want.
No one will dare enter then.
That is when you begin to actually show me your face.
You're cowardly, swollen eyes of love and hate all at once,
And you kiss me like you never have before,
And it's wild and so full of lust and love
Dear. sweet. love.
And you hold me from the inside like a warm rush on a cold night.
You make love to me when the moon shines bright.
You caress me like I'm a part of your body all together
But really it's you in me, and I'm out of control.
But that's all I have of you, just the night.
And trust me, I hate you every morning when the sun comes back out.
Because you can't just come and go when you feel like it.
You can't be so selfish as to love me only in the shadows.

Coward of the day,
Night crawler, lover of my soul,
Be not so cruel as to leave me
uncovered for the morning's cold.

Never again

She's moved on, shes not going back ever again,
at least not with you.
She thought about it one too many times,
she thought she needed you.
She spent too long thinking she couldn't do without you.

But never again is she walking that path.

For now she knows you were never worth it.

Now she sees further than you ever could,

Now she's knows better than you,

Now she feels so much better than you.

You ran away like a coward and made her feel like the reason.

Oh but she has finally realized, it was all you!

You were scared, scared of your own future

That it chased you away from her.

You didn't care that she was welcoming you into hers.

You didn't think for once what she could have been to you.

Not once did you consider the joys she could have brought to you.

How afraid we're you? Did she scare you away? 

Or did you do it yourself?
Did you feel unworthy?

If such is true then good riddance!

For she deserves better than a coward.

She deserves better than a boy.

Grow up, your woman has left you behind. 

Together with Nature

Together, we can do so much, together we can be so much, together we are so much

This thought is something that constantly inspires me to get off my phone and get out of my house. It takes me away from my desktop and takes me to some place where I can be more than a couch potato, do more than type and speak more than through a microphone. If only we all considered ‘being together’ to be more than just on a Whatsapp or a Facebook group.

But why? Why should I, or you for that matter, leave all our gadgets behind and take a walk or go meet some friends or have a cup of coffee in a new restaurant instead of carrying it with you in a cardboard cup? Why should you sit down and talk when you can walk and talk? Why should you turn your music off and listen to people or your environment?

Because you’re missing out on the greater things in life. We’ve all grown so fond of the idea of ‘quick and easy’ that we have forgotten slow and calm or beauty and appreciation or acknowledgement. We have forgotten about sunrises and sunsets, walks in parks, swing sets and beaches. One may argue that it’s difficult to slow down when the rest of the world moves at lightning speed, and how can you make time for leisure when work and responsibilities are in the way. Yet, these are the same people who spend a huge amount of their spare time on social networks and aimless internet browsing.

It is really sad that as time passes people have forgotten the need for togetherness. We tend to take so much joy from being able to connect with each other remotely through our smart phones and latest gadgets that we have become so oblivious to the actual joys of meeting in person or sharing a cup of coffee together.

There is joy in catching up with old friends; there is joy in watching Mother Nature take its course. Trust me, you deserve some time out, no one will die if you take 15 minutes off to go watch the sun set over the horizon. It will be the best 15 minutes you’ve had in a long time.

I’ve listed a couple of things you could try out to experience the joy of togetherness or simply the joy of nature:
1. Go out for dinner with your friends or family and make a deal. All phones down, the 1st person to pick theirs up pays the bill.  (Take just one picture before or after the meal if it worries you so much)
2. Make time for a short walk every evening in your compound, ask a neighbour or a friend to accompany you even if it it just for 30 minutes.
3. Go to a café and sit in for your coffee/meal.  Stop using cardboard cups so often, sit down, and enjoy the coffee, the ambience and a good book if you can make the time. Cardboard cups have contributed to our fast lifestyles.
4. Call up some old friends and decide to meet at some common place. Just spend the evening together. No need to go to any fancy places, no need to do anything together, just meet up and hang out A movie at a group member’s place doesn’t hurt either or a board game, ludo, snakes and ladders, monopoly, twister, go crazy, go old school . (This one is my personal favourite)

Check out: http://www.kissanpur.com/
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Emotions v/s Emoticons

Very few will actually 'C' the difference!

On September 19th 2015, the emoticon ':-)' turned 33 years old along with its mates ':-(' and ';-)'.  The emoticons have come along way from their original composition of simple punctuation marks to today's one click emojis.
Lets have a look at how the emoticons have made their way into our lives and also how they have substituted a major aspect of conversations: emotions.

On the 19th of September, 1982, Scott E Fahlman, a research professor at the Language Technologies Institute and Computer Science Department at Carnegie Mellon,composed the smiley for the first time on an online science bulletin board stating that it were to be used to imply that the sentence was a joke or to be taken lightly. He also introduced the sad face smiley.

According to Fahlman, the problem was that if someone made a sarcastic remark, a few readers would fail to get the joke, and each of them would post a lengthy diatribe in response. That would stir up more people with more responses, and soon the original thread of the discussion was buried.  In at least one case, a humorous remark was interpreted by someone as a serious safety warning.

And this problem has been around ever since conversations have gone online and probably even since written letters.


But emoticons have managed to add emotion to words where they weren't sufficient enough.

All said and done, rather all punctuated and smiled at, there is great irony in the use of the emoticon. Today people have substituted words completely with the rise of emoticons. We frame conversations sometimes with only symbols and emojis and often are understood by our peers with such ease. We can combine two or more emojis to say a sentence that otherwise cost us 5-6 words. Emojis have taken us by the hand and given us more to say with less effort.





How has this helped us though? What impact has the emoticon or the recent emojis left on the people of today. One cannot deny the fact that it has harmed communication to a certain extent. Try having a conversation with a friend you chat with on a daily basis but this time using only word
s and not emoticons and you will definitely be asked if you're alright today. Your friend will probably not be able to comprehend your emotion while saying what you said or the style in which you said it or what you meant when you said it.

This is because emoticons today have taken the place of intonation, stress, punctuation, pauses, reactions, and all the other devices that usually added flavor to the written language. The emoticons have help you express more than words can say and probably taught you to say without words.

This has its pros and cons. We can be misunderstood so often just because every persons understanding of every emoji is different. Our use of emojis in different circumstances are different. I don't even have to get started on how every emoticon could translate differently across cultures around the world.

Let us not forget to mention that the recent upgrade in emojis offer the same face in different skin colours. What do you have to say about that?

In conclusion, the emoticon may have contributed in a huge way to speedy conversations and given us expression where there was no other way to express, but lets not forget the beauty of words and the importance of them spelled correctly and completely. Emojis may speak louder than words but emojis can't say exactly what you feel the way words can.

Days of Courage

Our days of courage come by now and again.
They are the days we feel like the universe is on our side,
It's when nothing can come in the way and nothing can stop us.
Our days of courage show us what we don't generally see;
What we can do, what we can be.
They build us up from our otherwise dull days.

Our days of courage make us say the things we always wanted to.
They give us words when there otherwise existed none.
They cause us to repair broken bridges, tie up loose knots.
Our days of courage allow us to admit our love.
They give us strength to speak up and to feel bigger than we usually do.
They help us undo mistakes and sometimes redo them.

But our days of courage are our best ever
Because they bring us to our weakest and make us our strongest.
They tear us to pieces and then fix us up again.
Our days of courage find us our missing pieces and make us whole again.
Our days of courage rid us of our insecurities and bring back our dreams.

My days of courage are rare, for a frightened heart has much to conquer.
But when they come, they come like thieves in the night.
Causing me cold toes and a moment of shivers.
Until I make that brave move that changes everything.

Everything that once was, suddenly can never be

Because these courageous days break and make me.

My Parish, My Family

My friends and I spent the last three weeks working on a documentary for a competition by the Diocese Youth Center of Mumbai.

The theme of the competition is 'My Parish, My Family'. We had to portray the various cells and associations that are part of our church and how they function as a family in this documentary.

We learnt a lot while making this video, not only in movie making but also about our church and the parishioners who strive to build a community that constantly cares for one another.

Following is the video we shot, edited and are currently publicizing.
Do spare a moment to watch and don't forget to share it if you like it!